Why failing my first chemistry test was the best thing that ever happened to me

In secondary school, I suffered from bullying and depression. Classes and studying kept me going. So I was excited when in eighth grade, we got a new subject: chemistry. It was a completely new world to me, and I had no idea what to expect.

Up to that point, I had never had trouble getting into a new subject. But this time, it was different.

Our teacher explained elements, different kinds of liquids and gases. She drew strange structures made of letters and dashes. Sometimes she combined two with an arrow in between and called it a ‘reaction’. Then she drew even bigger and more complex structures.

I did not understand anything. It felt like she was speaking another language.

Then one day, our teacher surprised us with a test. We were supposed to draw those structures and reactions ourselves. I looked at the first question – no clue. The second – same. I went through the whole test and still did not understand anything.

I started to panic. I had never been in a situation where I couldn’t answer at least some questions. Usually, I could handle most of the exam.

I told myself to stay calm and start again. Surely, I must know something. But it was hopeless.

Time was running out. I figured I should at least write something, so I jotted down a few structures and reactions I remembered from class. But I didn’t really know what I was writing or whether it actually fit the questions.

A moment of desperation

The worst part was that I finished unusually fast – simply because I could not think of anything else to add. Out of desperation, I began calculating how many points I might get if everything I had written turned out to be correct (which was, of course, very unlikely). Even in that best-case scenario, it would probably not be enough for a D. The thought of failing the test filled me with panic.

So I did the only thing that came to mind: I looked over at my friend’s paper to copy something – anything. I had never done that before. And as fate would have it, I got caught. The teacher took away my exam and looked angry.

This was the worst-case scenario. I had been caught cheating. My classmates would laugh at me, and I would look stupid in front of the teacher. I wanted to run out of the room and cry, but I stayed seated and tried to hold it in. Still, the tears came.

After class, the teacher came to me. I expected her to scold me, but instead, she listened. I apologised and explained that I normally never cheat, but I didn’t know anything and was desperate. She told me cheating is not acceptable. But since I had not actually copied anything yet, she would grade what I had written.

I got an E–. Funnily enough, the friend I tried to copy from knew even less and got an F.

Choosing to persevere

After this, I had two options: give up because I just did not understand chemistry, or study hard for the next exams. At first, everything felt hopeless: I did not understand the subject, and I had embarrassed myself in front of the teacher. But something about chemistry kept me interested. As strange as it was, it also felt exciting. I wanted to understand it.

So I started studying. I sat at my desk for hours, reading, practicing, trying to figure things out. As the school year went on, I improved more and more. My teacher noticed and supported me. She didn’t hold my mistake against me; instead, she encouraged me. My interest in chemistry kept growing. By the end of the year, I had worked my way up to an A on the final exam – and I was completely fascinated by the subject.

I am grateful that my teacher chose to see my potential instead of just my mistake

One year later, my teacher recommended me for a science camp at a university. Only the top students in our school could apply. I was over the moon when my application was accepted. Just a year ago, I didn’t understand a word, and now I’m attending a university camp as one of the best students! I was absolutely thrilled.

At that time, I still struggled with depression and did not like being away from home, especially with people I did not know, so this camp was a big emotional challenge for me. But I made it. Working in the labs there was amazing. It kept me focused and made me even more passionate about chemistry.

Later, I did several internships – some in chemistry, some in completely different fields. I thought about other career options, but I always came back to chemistry.

Looking back, that failed test might seem small and unimportant. But for my 14-year-old self, it was life-changing. I am grateful that my teacher chose to see my potential instead of just my mistake. She gave me the chance to grow – and I took it.